Cocotel’s Weblog

i’m going to another town, another town where i won’t know you anymore, a town where i won’t have to say hello and i will walk those streets alone. I’m leaving for another town, a place where people will ask who you are and not what you’ve been up to and why you didn’t call. I’ll find myself a little place, a tiny cottage by a dirt road where no cars have ever parked and where the streetlights are so rare of an occurance,they turn to separate worlds in the middle of the night. I want to skip from island to island and pass rough tunnels of darkness to get to the tiny shop on that street, that only sells two brands of chocolate and one kind of bread. I’ll fill my little house with books, dusty and old, gotten for free from all those people who keep them in their garage. I’ll have 1 lamp and 100 candles, and a little garden full of trees.

I’m running, in my head, hitting the walls of my skull, i’m scratching at them, breaking my nails, painting my cottage on them in grey matter. I’ll have a dog and two cats. I’ll raise hens and buy milk from the old couple across the street that own a cow, i’ll get my grain from neighbours. I wont have internet or a tv, but i’ll have windows in all three rooms. I’ll cry, every week, for the one who wouldn’t follow me, i’d write him letters and apologise and never send them, and i’d paint him pictures and cover my spare room with them. I’d hug my cats and dog all night long, from 3 to 11, i’d lock myself in the house for one day a week and suffer, and every other day i’d still be insede, just allowed to exit, able to contaminate that air with my filthy, intoxicating words that i could not cotain even there.

I’d die in about 3 years in my haven, i’d crumble under my own weight that this world that i hate so much makes me forget.

 break me in small parts that go in small doses–>                       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhLnPifHqQU&feature=related